WHAT DO YOU ACTUALLY WANT?

I took the first step in reinventing myself and that was deciding to do so. 

Now that I’ve decided, I need clarity on what direction to take. I don’t need to know the exact place I want to end up but it would be helpful to have an approximate vicinity. If I know where to aim towards, I can start taking steps in that direction which will inform me and give me more clarity.

This will allow me to continue to make either micro or macro pivots, it will allow me to iterate my process. 

In keeping with the scientific methodology this is where I pose a question. I’m calling this phase Curious Introspection. 

Curios Introspection Phase:

The question - What do I ACTUALLY want?

I want to bring attention to the word “actually”.  What we believe we desire comes from so many sources. In the past my desires came from trauma and what was expected of me from family, friends and society.  I let those desires inform me and ended up creating a life that wasn’t really reflective of my truth. I created a life that didn’t feel my own. I won’t make that mistake again. 

How will I ensure I’m not being informed by trauma? I will let fear have a seat at the table, hear what it has to say, what it wants but it won’t be the only aspect of me at the table. My inner child will have a seat at this round table, so will my most confident self, my creative self, my entrepreneur self, my logical self, my spiritual self, my higher self, basically all of me will be present and honored. Where we are headed though won’t be decided by whatever part of me is most loud, all of me will be on board and this will not only make sure I’m choosing what I actually want but it will lessen any potential self sabotage  an aspect of me may try since they know what’s up and we can even create a plan of action if they feel triggered. 

When starting this process I will also do a quick but powerful ritual to create a safe space and invite all aspects of me to show up. If you want me to share how I do this let me know, I would love to share. 

Getting back to the question “What do I ACTUALLY want?”. This will be an important step in this process and will be a question I’ll come back to again and again. The check in is important to ensure I catch any changes to the answer and pivot appropriately. 

In order to start this inquiry, my virgo grain needs to break this down into categories. I want a lot of things and I don’t want to forget about aspects of my life that I may not be prioritizing in this season of my life. Here are the main categories I will be answering the question for. I will also give myself permission to change, expand or tweak these categories as needed. 

1. CAREER

2. HEALTH/FITNESS

3. HOME

4. FINANCES

5. PERSONAL/SPIRITUAL

6. RELATIONSHIPS

When trying to answer the question of what I want, if I don’t have the answer to a few of these categories, that’s ok.  Just having a vague idea of what I want is enough; I will write down what I know and allow this journey of exploration to reveal more and more of myself and the life I get to live. 

For all of the categories I will look at the big aspirational vision. I won’t limit myself to what I think I can achieve or have in the next year or so. Instead I will focus on what is my ultimate vision no matter how far or likely it feels. I will let myself dream.  

Journaling prompts I will use for this process:

• What do I want my life to feel like?

• How do I want to feel about myself?

• How do I want to feel about the world?

• Who is around me?

• Where do I live and what does it look like?

• What does my home feel like?

• What does a day in my life look like?

• What do I do for work?

• How am I being creative?

• How do I form connections and deep relationships?

• How am I contributing to other’s lives in a positive way?

• What will I be remembered for?

• What brings me joy?

• What makes me laugh?

• How do I navigate difficult situations?

• How do I navigate difficult conversations?

• How do I deal with difficult people?

• What boundaries do I have in place?

• How do I feel in my body?

• What do I do for work?

• What do my finances look like?

• Where do I donate money and time to?

Below are additional questions for a bit of shadow work to ensure I don’t self sabotage. If you don’t know what shadow work is, I have a blog here → SHADOW WORK FOR BEGINNERS

Shadow Work Journaling Prompts:

• What part of me does NOT want to have the life I envision for myself?

• What are the cons of the life I want?

• How will people see me or feel about me  if I achieve everything I want?

• Why am I scared of succeeding?

• Who will I lose if I achieve the life I want?

• What version of me do I need to become to achieve what I want?

• What version of me do I need to let go of to achieve what I want?

Once I’m clear or as clear as I can be on what I actually desire for each of the categories I will decide on what goals I can focus on in the next year that contribute to that overall vision. 

I will be using the 12 week year methodology and some energy work  for achieving these goals. 

If you don’t know what the 12 Week Year Method is, let me know and I can share more about it. But the gist is focusing for 12 weeks on 1-3 goals that stretch you but can be achieved and are in alignment with the overall vision. This allows you to “achieve more in 12 weeks that most people do in 1 year”… that’s their tagline. This method makes you focus on actually showing up for the work and not just allow the dopamine hit from dreaming to satisfy you and end up not achieving your goals.

Once I create my 1 year vision, I will decide on 3 specific goals to focus on in the next 12 weeks. And then we get to work!

Let me know if you want me to share more of my process and my specific goals. You can also share anything that came up during your journaling process. Let’s create a safe nourishing space to grow and create together. Let’s support each other in this process of reinventing ourselves 💛.

Sending Love,

Anna Davila

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